The following is a mix of truth and fiction – you will decide what you choose to believe. It is the story of university life for a foreign student, how she deals with an unknown culture, new friends, and realising her dream. Please note any characters that may seem to resemble real life persons is purely coincide. I would love you to join me on a past journey of laughs, tears, learning, disappointments, love, challenges, and wins.

Standing here thinking over the last few years I can’t believe it was my life. It was such a big risk a leap off the cliff...... Something I never thought I would do. But for it to remain in my memory I thought I would write it down.....So here goes hope you enjoy and feel free to leave comments.

Dear Diary

Today is the day before. Saying ‘Bye’ to Trini, something I never thought I would do to go abroad and study. Not a fun subject for most but I love it – Banking and Finance. I worked and clawed to get the funds and get the grades to reach here, yet I have not packed. I mean this is no two or three week vacation, this is going away for four years and it’s the night before my flight and I haven’t pack. Typical really, I only just got the tickets three days ago, and actually found out I qualified to go the day before that. I quit my job at the bank four days ago too but I wanted to do it for ages. At one point I thought it was not going happen. For the last year I worked seven days a week to get the money for tuition. Sometimes eight in the morning to eight at night for the whole week stamping vouchers to a rhythm to increase speed, auditing and correcting the cashier's work. I was dedicated to my job which is why I think they were shocked when I quit not giving a month’s notice.

At that time I had to keep a few things to myself in order to get my goal. It was almost out in the open before I gave my notice when I got my results. I had gotten the minimum required grade in Economics but not in Maths. I remember I was holding on for a cashier that day when I got a call from the university. I started panicking when the Leanne from admissions said that I needed the grade for Maths. Without it I could not start the course. I saw my dream evaporate in that five minute phone call. She said the only thing 'Was there extenuating circumstances?' Yes I thought the Maths was too hard and they don't even allow you to use a calculator, but out loud I said that I did study, that it was an extremely hard test, that that I froze up for the exam and the fact they didn't allow you to use a calculator but needed you to calculate the square root of two!. She said she couldn't give me an answer would take everything into consideration and they would get back to me. I immediately called my sister in the States and as I started relaying the conversation I started crying, I had to leave my station cause my co-workers started staring at me. I was so upset and emotional, she told me not to worry she was praying, I was praying and she knew without a doubt I would get though. She had a dream seeing it. She's been having them since we were young, they were usually right and this calmed me and gave me some hope.

So I accepted I did all I could do, I prayed and left it in God's hands. I headed back to my station, I passed Delvin on the way and he started apologizing because we were in the middle of yet another argument. He didn't even realise I was upset but it fine. I just accepted it and told him it was ok. It's not all bad though my girls nicknamed Murderer and Lover were there for me for the pass week we were celebrating with small 3 o clock cocktails everyday and our little secret was really the reason for the smiles and good afternoon cheer we all had. I smiled at Lover signalling the time was near and she smiled back and winked. A few days later I got an email saying I was accepted and the whirlwind started. Buying tickets, quitting job, telling folks I am leaving, organising a leaving do and packing. That's what I am doing now well partly cause I am also doing my usual no sleep before travelling. (being dead to the world is better when travelling on a plane for 9 hours). I start packing what comes to mind and Devlin calls, he always calls late, sometimes wakes me up but I don’t care once. I love talking until the morning with him even if it means going to work tired. I know I will miss this, I won't miss the arguing tho. We don’t talk about anything important, definitely not about me leaving he’s been so moody about it, sometimes realising what little time we have and being wonderful and other times wasting it quarrelling over nothing. But, I am definite about ending us, I know from experience long distant does not work. He’s never asked me to stay cause he knows what this means and I love him for it but I can’t say those words cause I know he’d freak.

Well I’m off for now. Catch yuh tomorrow, I should get one hour before work at least come on it’s my last day.

N.